Hellions Alternate Uniform Jersey

The Hellions SFG previously announced that it had tentatively committed its "Delta Squad" to compete in the 2011 season of the Ultimate Woodsball League.  The Hellions are first and foremost a military-simulation (mil-sim) scenario team and use the MultiCam-patterned ACUs for its uniform.  As the team experiments in non-scenario competitive events and recreational air field practices, its members felt the need to create an alternate uniform.

For all mil-sim and scenario events, the Hellions will continue to wear their MultiCam uniforms and Full Clip USA kits.  For the UWL events, the Hellions will sport new team jerseys designed by Don "D-Mac" McClelland of Don McClelland Designs of Chicago and produced by Raza Life out of California.  The Hellions jersey is also approved for recreational play and team practices.  Below are two photos of team member Chad "Adder" Kurtz at the team's February practice at O'Hare Paintball.

 

Hellions New Celebrity Endorsement

CHICAGO, IL – August 24, 2007 - Hellions Scenario Paintball Team recently received a new surprise celebrity endorsement. Last week, Hellions Unit Commander, Lonnie "Grendel" Colson, announced to the team that he had been approached by an undisclosed marketing agency to appear in a new advirtisement campaign. While the details of the offer have still not been released, the ad agency represents a major paintball marker manufacturer and is looking for someone to appear in printed and electronic ads in the near future.

When Grendel's teammates heard the news, they were naturally excited about the potential exposure for the team. Joe "MasterShake" Scarso commented in the team forums, known as the Hellions Warzone, that it was a dream come true. Ever a comedian, Grendel remarked that it would only be a dream come true if it included Jessica Alba in a bikini on a beach in the Caribbean.

The team's resident graphic design wizard, Don "D-Mac" McClelland wanted to earn some brownie points with his Commanding Officer. He apparently used his extensive connections as the creator of countless sports celebrity custom helmets and masks. Within a matter of hours he was able to produce a photograph of Jessica Alba wearing team apparel in a new celebrity endorsement (see above right). Miss Alba can be seen wearing the new Hellions "Off-Duty Tee" in white ribless cotton and designer brand denim jeans in digital woodland camouflage. For safety reasons, she is holding a non-firing theatrical reproduction M-249 SAW. Miss Alba was nice enough to include a personalized message wishing the team good luck on their upcoming 24-hour scenario game, Wayne Dollack's "Stalingrad III", hosted by CPX Sports.

Jessica Alba has achieved the highest levels of 'smoking-hot' celebrity status by appearing in numerous Hollywood blockbusters such as "Sin City", "Into the Blue" and "Grendel's Dreams". She can be seen in the upcoming romantic comedy "Good Luck Chuck" soon to be released in theaters nationwide. Check local listings for feature show times and locations.

Disclaimer: If it is not already obvious, this news article is solely meant to amuse the reader and does not represent an actual endorsement by Jessica Alba or any other celebrity. The photograph has been digitally manipulated and does not reflect the views of Jessica Alba.